Memory and Accomplishment

I’m not suggesting there is necessarily a link between these two things, though for me, I think if I started remembering more than I seem to be able to these days, I’d feel accomplished in some way.  This is just a blog post today about those two things.

Confession: my memory is rubbish.

It never used to be.  It used to be infallible, great; I would never have to write down telephone numbers, I could just hear them, and they would be remembered.  Some days, these day, I have trouble remembering my own name. I have – through entirely unempirical evidence – worked out that such days are worse when things are crazy.  I remember much better when I’m not stressed. But I’ve been wondering, lately if I might find an app or something, some other kind of activity to exercise the ‘memory muscle.’  So if anyone has any recommendations, please do let me know. I’ll give them a try.

Memory becomes a problem in writing too. Funny story, or maybe not so funny. Those of you that follow Laer o Faen will know that there were 18 months between chapters 24 and 25.  This was because life got in the way and I didn’t get time for writing. When things became a little more settled, getting chapter 25 out was a priority for me. Luckily I had left myself notes. Not so luckily, I couldn’t remember what on Earth I meant by the notes.  Yeah. I really need to work on my memory!

I mentioned earlier that maybe if I could remember things better, it might help me to feel more accomplished. The last couple of days, I haven’t felt that way, and not to do with the memory either.  I’ve been productive, but haven’t felt accomplished.  What is the difference for me? It’s entirely selfish… because the difference has been, the last couple of days, I’ve done no writing. Not word one has been committed to paper (or the word processor screen in my case), and though I’ve cleaned, read, been present, run errands, laundry, cooking, all of those things that one could look back on an think, “Wow… I did a lot today,” without that sense of creativity, those words, that writing – and I’m talking about working on one of the fiction projects in the works – I just feel pretty well meh!

I’ve started small, only setting myself a modest target to ensure that I write at least something each day even if I don’t finish chapters the way I used to do. My daily talk list has ‘write 15 minutes.’  The last couple of days, even that small amount of time has eluded me, and I have been cranky as a result, feeling like I’ve not done anything, despite evidence to the contrary. Today, I plan on setting aside some of my lunch break – locking myself in a closet if necessary, and getting those 15 minutes in.  A cranky me is not a thing to behold, especially not on a day when I’m working until after eight pm.

What makes you feel accomplished?

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About Eirian Houpe

Writer and Teacher. Published works: Eternal Dance (as Linden S Barclay) and articles for Wigston Magna Dog Training Club, and SFX Magazine.
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